i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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