I love black thongs
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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