Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
