I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
