He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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