Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
