All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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