I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
