i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
