My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
