so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
