The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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