just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've blown a few things in my day
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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