Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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