what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
