he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
