The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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