we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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