i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have aggressive nipples.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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