he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
