A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize