so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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