Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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