Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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