Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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