That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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