just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
whose parrot is this?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
