All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
