i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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