I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
