Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
