dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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