I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
