If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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