I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
