he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
