I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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