Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
