I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
