I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize