I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize