I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
