plz talk dirty to me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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