so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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