Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
