There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
its not stalking. its research.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
