his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
