do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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