Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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