just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
