That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
