I love black thongs
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Randomize
