he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
