Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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