We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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