I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize