So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
