Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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