Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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