she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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