dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize