Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
