...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
