so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
