It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
