Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
