Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
