p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
