There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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